Safe Drinking

Introduction

The report is vital because it gives guidelines on how safe drinking can be achieved while at the same time trying to present it in a manner that can be understood by all those targeted to read. The report is based on the Australian society and focuses on developing management plans that help in avoiding excessive or unsafe drinking and the roles played by various agencies in trying to take control of the situation. These agencies include health professionals, local governments, and sports clubs among others. It details the costs spend by these agencies in the various alcohol control strategies, gives data on the prevalence of cases that pose risks to categories of people in society, for instance, pregnant mothers, the youth, the elderly and how this can be avoided. The number of Australians who engage in alcoholism and those who lose their lives as a result of the vice is also documented but needs to be edited to make it clear to read.

Other problems that come up as a result of alcoholism apart from death, are discussed in the report, but in some cases need to be expounded for ease of comprehension. To achieve the needed standards the report relies mainly on various authoritative texts, manuals and other writing guides. Reliable sources were used to assist in designing the model of the critic. Such sources include reports by reputable companies, the Australian government reports and nongovernmental agencies that frequently compile this kind of reports and therefore have the experience in writing them in a manner that is appealing to read. The report is organised into three sections; meta, micro and macro analysis. The first section deals with Meta issues. These are the issues that relate to the possible effects that the document is likely to have on the readers. The general picture that comes out as a result of the manner in which the report is structured, the words use and the structure. Macro issues are discussed in the second section of the paper and it details with the genre dependent issues, for instance, general design and formatting. Language use is also checked, for instance, the language in reports should be formal, passive, with few personal pronouns and the use of neutral verbs that are non-emotive. The kind of tone is also discussed under the macro concept. The tone in this kind of report should be formal. The third section analyses the micro issues. They include such aspects of writing for instance punctuation, grammar issues and other details that may hinder information flow.

Due to time constraints the paper could not go into more details on getting additional information that could add the details in the report especially on ways through which such reports could be made error-free in future (Anderson, 2007).

The conclusion is presented in section 4. It summarises all that was discussed in the paper reviews and the main findings. It serves best as an overview of what the paper is all about. Section five gives recommendations.

2. Overview

The text basically analyses adding how various bodies and government departments deal with alcoholism in Australia. Schools, workplaces and sports clubs are some of the areas the report examines. This among other places are most affected or frequented by alcoholics. The report is therefore aimed at readers in such places to inform them of the dangers of excessive drinking. The report also defines what constitutes harmful drinking.

2.1 Audience

The document targets any member of the Australian society who can read. Any person who is concerned about health issues especially those related to alcoholism should find the document educative and easy to read (Anderson, PV 2007).

2.2 Purpose

The document tries to explain the dangers of excessive drinking. It details reasons why excessive alcohol is dangerous for a person’s health and gives guidelines on how it should be eradicated. It also explains how the most affected groups can address the problem especially among teenagers who still attend school. It also gives details on how one can find additional information on the state of alcoholism in the Australian society from the internet.

2.3 Context

The document was prepared purposely for Australian readers but because alcohol is disturbing beyond the Australian borders the information contained can benefit other interested readers all over the world.

3. Critical Analysis

This section examines safe drinking in detail in three levels stated above: macro, meta and micro.

3.1 Meta-issues

These are issues that touch on matters beyond the text itself. For one to clearly understand this issues the underlying factors need to be determined first. The intentions also need to be clear before one can identify or discuss meta issues. Cultural and social concerns shape the intention and underlying issues in a document.

3.1.1 Increase in number unsafe drinking habits

The document is very informative on the number of Australians who take alcohol and the ages that are most affected. However, it dwells so much on this leaving very little room for other issues such as the effects of this behaviour on the individuals and the society in general. For instance, there is not much that has been discussed on the role of parents in advising children on safe drinking. The teachers in school and their guiding and their counsellors, may not even be aware that a student is alcoholic.

The report also indicates that school going children between the ages of twelve and seventeen already experiment with alcohol but not enough the report continues with the statistics without giving enough guidelines on what should be done to especially safe school children from alcohol drinking.

3.1.2 The Role of health professionals

Although a website has been provided to further discuss the role of Health Professionals in Australia trying to provide health services to the group with high risks (for example, the mental health cases, pregnant women, young people) more information needs to be given on other roles that they (health practitioners) should play in reducing the alcohol misuse cases or in the treatment of alcoholic victims. Health workers are strategically placed to solve most of the problems. Besides their voices on the subject can be listened to more than any other groups of professionals because everyone agrees with the fact that they interact with victims of alcohol regularly. The document should have therefore put more emphasis on statistics and experiences from health service providers. This way the readers will take the report more seriously (Roche 2008).

3.2 Macro-issues

Macro-issues are those that depend on the genre. They relate to the document which is being analysed and those that are related. They include the coherence of the report, the page layout, and descriptions, clarity of background information, and objectives of investigation among others.

3.2.1 Document Table of Contents

The report gives detailed statistics on events and cases related to alcohol but the manner in which they are spread out is unfriendly to the reader. For example under the topic addressing alcohol misuse there are no clear signs that a subtopic is being discussed. What seem to be subtopics are too long to clearly and immediately bring out the message that is discussed thereafter. The third sub-topic for instance is in itself too long and may not need any other information to support it. They should be short and clear. This particular third section of the topic is complete with the approximate number of Australians who experiment in alcohol. What follows has nothing is jumbled up. Some information refers to the number of deaths that occur annually and other referring to the cost of alcohol misuse in South Australia. These topics should be clear with specific content discussed under each. A subtopic on the economic effects of too much alcohol should have been created and analyzed accordingly. The death factor should be discussed together with other effects of alcohol misuse (Trigg, Jeromson, & Markwick 2004).

3.1.2 Order of Topics

The topic on the definition and description of harmful alcohol consumption should come first. The document has the subject on how to address harmful alcohol consumption coming first. This confuses the reader. What constitutes harmful consumption should be discussed clearly first before giving recommendations on how best to handle the problem. It is not right to give a solution to something that has not been explained (Fletcher & Gowing 1999).

3.1.3. Alcohol-Related Harms

The harmful effects of alcohol which should form the basis of the document are only being mentioned in a corner. They should at least be placed the main discussion and some sections for instance some statistics be reduced. The writer may not omit most of the statistics to achieve this. There are statistics given for instance on the prevalence of cases on monthly and on yearly basis. A single period form for instance annually can be adopted. The created space, therefore, be used to explain this alcohol-related harms because the reader will be very much interested with the harmful effects than so much details on what happens on a monthly or yearly basis.

3.3 Micro Issues

These are issues to do with spelling, grammar, punctuation applying to all documents.

3.3.1 Punctuation

The document does not have grammar or spelling mistakes. However some sentences end without full stops. For example, the supporting sentences in the first subtopic on the prevalence of alcohol misuse in South Australia are without full stops. The sentence states “over 85%… Australians drink alcohol.” This sentence in the text has not been ended with a full stop. The two sentences following this have a similar problem (Lannon 1997).

The report does not have any major issues

4. Conclusion

The document to a big extent is clear and can pass the message. The major challenge with the document is on the sequencing of information and the choice of material. Depending on the target audience and the message to be passed some issues have to be discussed more than others. The page layout and structure will also need to be altered as discussed to reflect, first on the definition of key phrases and later vividly discuss the dangers of engaging in the problem. The few punctuation mistakes should also be corrected. The length of topics and subtopics need to be short but still convey the message.

5. Recommendations

The document should be reformatted to reflect on the message priorities, the use of simple terms. The punctuation mistakes could have been avoided if the writer went through the document before submission. New topics and subtopics need to be created to capture the message being discussed clearly. Lastly writing a report meant to be read by people interested in information such as this should be without words unexplained or definition. It will help more if they are expounded. The text should also give accounts of personal experiences of those who have changed their drinking habits and can give accounts of their experiences. A few personal experiences will have a greater impact. The statistics given can be reduced to accommodate this (Degenhardt 2007).